We’ve been hearing a lot about loneliness lately. Next to stress, anxiety and depression, loneliness lurks just behind, triggering all sorts of thoughts and emotions.
It’s there in our solitude as we continue to physically distance ourselves from most social interactions as the pandemic drags on indefinitely. It’s there as we scroll through the endless social media parodies of other people’s lives. It’s there in the extended family group texts even as everyone checks in on each other, laughing over shared memes and unverified information that’s been shared many times.
So, what exactly is loneliness?
Loneliness is typically associated with a lack of social interaction or an absence of people surrounding you. But this wouldn’t be entirely true, as feeling lonely while surrounded by friends and other people is also possible.
Everyone experiences loneliness differently, making it challenging to pin it with a single definition. One way to define it is by how dissatisfied one is with their level of intimacy with their connections. Loneliness can also be described as a state of mind with overwhelming feelings of emptiness, rejection, or misunderstanding. Lonely people crave human connection but find it difficult to form these connections with others.
Loneliness and social behaviour
The thing about loneliness is, it can often become a vicious cycle. When someone is lonely and acknowledges the feelings of loneliness that they are experiencing, you’d think that their next step would be to take action to feel less lonely, right?
It’s a lot easier said than done. When a person is lonely, they feel vulnerable, which can lead to them exhibiting behaviours that promote hypervigilance to guard against potential threats. As much as they wish to reconnect with people and reach out, an innate fear of negative evaluation causes their self-preservation instincts to kick in. They also had increased activity of the sympathetic nervous system, the part of the nervous system responsible for the fight-or-flight response to stress or threats.
A study provides evidence that lonely people can differentiate social threat images from non-social threat stimuli more quickly than people who are not lonely.
The effects of loneliness on health
A study that gathered data across 308,849 individuals followed for an average of 7.5 years, indicates that the influence of social relationships on the risk of death is comparable with well-established risk factors for mortality, such as smoking and alcohol consumption and exceeds the result of other risk factors such as physical inactivity and obesity. The magnitude of this effect is comparable to quitting smoking, and it exceeds many well-known risk factors for mortality (e.g. obesity, physical inactivity). To put it into further perspective, the health risks of loneliness are equivalent to the effects of smoking as many as 15 cigarettes a day.
Loneliness has also been linked to an increased risk of chronic diseases such as coronary heart disease and stroke.
A separate study reported that lonelier people had higher biomarkers of inflammation, increased activity of inflammatory genes, and reduced activity of anti-viral genes. This indicates immune functioning, cardiovascular functioning, and cognitive decline are associated with the quantity and quality of social relationships.
Various studies have also been conducted to observe how loneliness affects mental health. It has been linked to depression, anxiety, Alzheimer’s, and increased suicidal behaviour.
Does a lack of physical connection make us lonelier?
As much as loneliness hurts us, social connections can protect our health and mental health in many ways. A Harvard study following people for some 80 years, found that people with stronger social connections were the healthiest and happiest.
But even “weak” social interactions, like those with classmates or casual acquaintances, predicted happiness, suggesting that we might not need only “deep” interactions to reap the psychological benefits of social connection. Just informal conversations with neighbours or colleagues daily might do something similar.
The connection provides psychological comfort and increases resilience to stress and trauma. Relationships can create a context for finding purpose and meaning.
Look for opportunities to meet people and cultivate new friendships and social interactions. This can be through community service, club activities, or classes, avenues that can occur online and in person as people adapt to the current situation.
Just because you are alone, it doesn’t mean you have to feel lonely
There are no two ways about it; the only way to cure loneliness is to look at the root cause of it. Does your loneliness stem from a lack of social connections? Or is it due to a lack of intimacy in your existing relationships?
Reaching out and forming connections can be daunting to most, and for a good reason. But when you do not know how to address your feelings of loneliness, it is best to consult a health professional before those feelings can seriously affect your health. There now exists counselling and therapy services to tackle loneliness and help people to gain the confidence they need to break out of their bubbles, as well as hotlines for when things get particularly tough.
Digital therapeutic services also allow people to contact a trusted counsellor or psychologist to discuss any problems or feelings they may be experiencing, with the added convenience of being able to reach out 24/7.
This article was brought to you by Naluri’s Mental Health Coaches. Naluri empowers you to develop healthy lifestyle habits, achieve meaningful health outcomes, and be healthier and happier through personalised coaching, structured programmes, self-guided lessons, and health tools and devices. Download the Naluri App today or contact hello@naluri.life for more information on utilising digital health coaching and therapy to become a happier, healthier you.